Here I am again.

It always ends up that I feel like blogging at the most random times. I should really just shut this thing down but it is kind of a place for me to let out my real feelings, and not worry about what anyone will say. I like having this to come back to.
Lately I've felt so much like I'm missing something. I'm just not quite sure what it is. As the time is narrowing to choose a college I'm still just kind of floating around, worrying. But really I am not that worried because I know that I will find the right place, or as my philosophy is, it will find me. I just know that I have not found what I truly want yet and I don't want to settle. I think more than anything I don't even really want to have a career, I want to have a family. I know that seems silly and impossible with the cost of everything these days but that seems like something I would really love doing. Of course I do not have anyone in mind to start a family with and I realize I am a bit too young.
So, as usual I have completely lost sight of what is important and turned my focus to a boy. I always soon realize it afterwards though. Right now I'm not "going out" with anyone but we are supposedly dating. It's a confusing situation. After a failed attempt at trying to break up with him we are just dating. He's really a sweet guy but he just has so many excuses. Everyone keeps telling me he isn't worth the trouble but of course I am being wishy-washy as usual. I am horrible at doing things that are actually good for me.
Well, I was working at Taco Time again. I was shift manager for a few weeks! Then I quit. I couldn't handle it. It's all a big mess now because I didn't come in on KC's shift and now she hates me. And I'm not even talking mildly dislike. She hates me. So I've done everything I can to make it up to her and I don't plan on giving up anytime soon. I don't know why I'm so determined but she was a good friend and I think that we can get through this.
So basically now I am broke and I sit at home reading a lot. I dislike it when friends ask me to do stuff and I can't because I'm broke but when I was working I couldn't do anything because I was working all the time. So yeah, now I sit home and read. And they're good books. Oh man, I've gotten into memoirs lately. Last week I read The Lovely Bones then The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. Now I am reading, Finding Fish. The first two were amazing and this one is pretty good too. Memoirs are my new favorite.
Well, I suppose I better get along now. It's getting late. Savor this post, as it may be the last for a few months (at the rate I'm blogging).